Nonsense Jokes
1. Teacher to sardar students: "A for?"
sardar students: "Apple !!!!"
Teacher: "JOR SE BOLO"
sardar students: "JAI MATA DI !!!!!!!"
2. The opening Indian batsmen in a One-Day match against the Pakistan were Sachin Tendulkar and a new find, sardar Stroke Singh. Shoaib Akhtar, the pace bowler, opened the bowling for his side. The first ball went sizzling past the off-stump. ZOOOM...........and was collected by the wicketkeeper.
Sardar Stroke Singh did not as much as budge from his place. Shoaib bowled his second, third and fourth balls...
ZOOOM... ZOOOM... ZOOOM....... all about the wicket with Stroke Singh standing still as a statue.
The fifth delivery was declared "No ball" by the umpire. Like a true professional Sardar Stroke Singh went tapping the pitch midway towards Sachin Tendulkar and said, "I knew from the very beginning the fellow did not have a ball in his hand."
3. One day a Sardarji talking with his friend....... Sardarji: We have to
learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not be able to communicate with my
child. Friend: Is it! Why? Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child and it
will start to speak after 6 months.
4. One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his
scooter manually. He met his friend on the way... Friend: why are you
pushing your scooter manually? Sardarji: 'I forgot to bring the scooter key
from my home. Friend: 'Is it! Then, How did you come to office from home in
the morning?' Sardarji: 'I was pushing my scooter from home to office also
in the morning.
5. A surd goes to a barber shop wearing walkman headphones.
He tells the hairdresser: "Dress my hair please, but do not remove the headphones."
The hairdresser does his job but needs to get under the headphones to finish his work.
He removes the headphones thinking that the surd will never even notice.
The surd falls to the floor, chokes, turns blue and dies.
The hairdresser picks up the headphones to see what he was listening to and hears:
"Breath In, Breath Out, Breath In, Breath Out"
6.Our Sardarjee dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates Saint Peter
tells him that in order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must
answer the following two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
Sardarjee thinks for a few minutes then answers...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.>>>
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter: "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though that's not
quite the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you
get only 12 seconds in a year?"
Sardarjee replies: "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word.
7. A Jew, an Italian, and our Sardarjee had applied for the same one vacant
position as a detective. At each applicant's interview the Police Chief
asked: "Who killed Jesus Christ?"
The Jew's answer: "The Romans did."
The Italian's answer: "The Jews did."
The Sardarjee's response, after pondering over it for a very long time:
"Could I have some time to think about it?" Chief: "OK, but get back to
me tomorrow."
When the Sardarjee got home that evening, his wife asked "How was the
interview?"
Sardarjee: "Great! I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder."
CROCODILE BOOTS
8. Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him
hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks
its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!"
9. SANTA SINGH AND STUDENTS
Sardar Santa Singhji is the english teacher in a school. He is very well renowned
for all his students do very well in exams. The school is having an inspection and the
inspector decided to visit the english class. This is what transpires :
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA "
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE
MAI"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE
MAI"
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE
MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE
MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
By this time the inspector is furious . He confronts the principal and shouts at him
"What is this Santa Singh teaching to students. He is supposed to be taking an
english class and what he is saying is GADHA ,GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE
PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH. The principle too is shocked , Santa
Singh the famous english teacher doing this. He immediately sends for Santa Singh.
Principal : " Santa singhji what nonsense are you telling these students, GADHA ,
GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA
DESH".
Santa Singh : "Yes i was telling all this in class, but i was only teaching the students
the spellings of assassination.:- Ass-Ass-I-Nation
10.. DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a
double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But
unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa
went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching
the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What
the heck's going' on? Why are you scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?"
Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "
